


With A Little Help

by audiaphilios



Series: From Tumblr With Lo-- [14]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fake Marriage, I Blame Tumblr, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 00:52:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7145405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audiaphilios/pseuds/audiaphilios
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tater's best childhood friend wants desperately to emigrate from Russia, and on the spur of the moment, Kent offers to marry him.</p><p>This is either the best or worst decision of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With A Little Help

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MisplacedMinnesotan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisplacedMinnesotan/gifts).



> From a prompt by bittybittlebutt/MisplacedMinnesotan:
> 
> "Tater has been with the Falcs for five years, correct? Is he on a work visa or??? At what point does he apply for duel citizenship? I read somewhere that you can only have a certain number of international players and under 20 players on an NHL team. (Please correct me if I’m wrong). So when Tater turns 20 he’s more at risk to be traded. Does he become a US citizen so he can continue to play for the Falcs? (Fake marriage fic anyone?????)"
> 
> So the story starts off answering the question, then goes more into proper narrative format.
> 
> [Originally posted to tumblr June 8, 2016.](http://audiaphilios.tumblr.com/post/145586189505/tater-fake-marriage-fic-set-up)

In my head, Tater plays a couple years in Russia before coming to the States for the Falcs in the 2010 season. So he’s already 20ish (a year older than KP), can get a P1 visa, and the management/NHL takes care of all that stuff. He’ll have at least ten years to get anything else sorted, but I’m positive the NHL has to have something in place to assist foreign players with that.

For me, the fake marriage would have to come from a different direction. Like, Tater’s childhood best friend who’s too gay to stay in Russia but not good enough at hockey to get out. Let’s say it’s 2018, the Falcs have a Cup under their belt, Kent and Jack have reached a truce– they’re not friends, but they’re more than coldly-polite strangers. Tater doesn’t know about their past or care, he just wants good hockey and someone to throw an arm around. His 30th birthday is another year in the future, but he gets a call from his childhood bestie, who’s in fucking tears because they’d made a promise not to be closeted by 30, and he’s not sure he’ll ever get out.

Maybe the call comes in June, when he’s in Vegas for the NHL Awards, because it’s convenient, okay? His friend calls to congratulate him, and then the tears come, and Tater goes back into the room really upset after promising his friend they’ll find a way. Bitty, sweetheart that he is, asks what’s wrong (both to help his friend and distract himself from the painfully awkward conversation that Jack and Kent are trying to have. Bitty’s grown a lot, but he’s still pretty _bless his heart_ about Kent Parson, no matter how much he has a secret competition with Kit Purrson for Instagram followers). Jack and Kent are of course drawn into the sadness that is the situation (because god can this conversation end already, we’re both really proud we’ve come this far but it’s painful on a whole new level). 

And Kent volunteers to marry him. Just, out of the blue, in the impulsive way that he has of doing things. But once he says the words, he’s like, well why the fuck not? Being out is less of a thing now, though he’s not said anything officially– his and Jack’s rebuilding started because Jack approached him about coming out with Bitty, and how he didn’t want to out Kent but he also wanted Kent’s blessing to go ahead. They discussed how to handle if anyone asked about them in the Q, and both agreed to just deflect the question until Kent wanted to talk about it. So Tater knows Kent’s not straight, but the reverse isn’t true at all. Tater doesn’t date, so no one asks, so no one officially knows (Bitty and Jack are aware, since he made it obvious with his apologies and gratitude and effusive love for them when they announced to the team, and then the world). You have to be more careful about being closeted if you’re Russian and still want to visit the homeland.

But Kent warms up to the idea as he tries to convince Tater he’ll do it. _After all_ , he says, _I’m not the marrying type, really. Here’s my chance to get married, be an adulterer, and a divorcé with no hurt feelings!_  Tater’s always respected Kent as a hockey player, but he finds himself suddenly grateful to him as a person.

So they have the summer to start working on details. There’s a lot of Skyping with Tater’s friend, so they can start to get to know each other, and Tater chaperones/translates. As the weeks pass, Tater’s friend starts teasing him in Russian about how he feels guilty for stealing Tater’s man, because his old friend knows Tater’s tells. (His old friend was also once a _friend_. Secret-keepers in closeted areas, you know.)

It’s when Kent asks what his friend’s saying that Tater lets slip _that_  little detail. In his desperation to hide his crush, he discloses their past relationship– Kent had no clue that Tater wasn’t straight, and has been kind of beating himself up for always falling for the unattainable ones. Cue Kent’s horror at a) having accidentally outed Tater, and b) falling for a dude who’s not unattainable because he’s straight, but unattainable because _his boyfriend’s in Russia and Kent is literally going to marry this stranger so Tater can be with his True Love, who is this stranger, and **what is life even why does Kent do these rash things**._

Poor tangled Kenny.

Kent actually calls up Jack and, when he answers the phone, immediately goes into panicked confession mode– “I can’t do this, I like him too much, there’s gotta be another way, oh god how do I always fall for the wrong people, Jesus Christ Zimms I can’t pull out of this and break Tater’s heart by not letting his boyfriend escape Russia, but I’m not sure I can do this and break my own heart.”

And Bitty’s just standing there with the phone to his hear, trying to get a, “Sweetheart, slow down,” in edgewise because it’s not fair to Kent that he’s confessing all this to the wrong person.

But it’s also kind of a good thing, because hockey boys are _doofuses_. Since Bitty’s clearly not going to be able to get his attention, he whips out his tablet, does a quick search, and waits for Kent to take a breath.

“Okay now, sweetheart, you’ve got the wrong person but I’ve got the right idea. And here’s a plan.”

Because Bitty recognizes that agony and that self-deprecation from both himself and Jack, and he can’t be entirely hard-hearted towards the boy’s plight (shut up, he may be older, but Kent is still a _child_ ). Plus he knows about Tater’s friendship (and, perhaps, has noticed his appreciative eye cast Kent’s way, and possibly has heard some _things_ from Tater who’s been wondering if it’s bad form to find his best friend’s ex attractive. “Oh no, honey, you wouldn’t be stepping on _anyone’s_  toes if you wanted that boy.”)

Kent is startled into silence and almost hangs up, but Bitty does, in fact, have a really good point. The marriage thing was, admittedly, a rather rushed idea. When there are student visas, for one thing. And, for fuck’s sake, he and Tater are both millionaires. They could use that to get his friend here on an investor visa to run a business doing the thing he loves doing, so he doesn’t have to go to school or fake-marry anyone.

“But you listen to me, Kent Parson. I will send you this information, and you can bring it to Tater, but you _have_  to tell him how you feel. That is my one condition.”

“I…really appreciate this. But I could just lie to you about telling him.”

Bitty sighs. “You would think that. And I appreciate your honesty, at least, in saying you’re thinking that. But I fully expect an excited phone call from Tater in no less than four hours.”

“Wait, that’s two conditions– confess to him AND get him to call you when he rejects me?”

“Oh no, sweetheart, he’ll call me all on his own when he accepts you. I’m just leaving you some leeway to _get it out of your system_ , first.”

“…Tater calls you?”

“Bless your heart. Now give me your e-mail address and go talk to the boy.”

“…thank you, Bitty.”

“That’s Mr. Bittle to you, Kent Parson.”

“Thank you, Mr. Bittle.”

And Bitty e-mails him the information, and it’s only twenty minutes later that he gets an excited text from Tater, but the phone call takes a few extra hours.

 

**BONUS:**

Bitty’s taking a tray of pirogi out of the oven when Jack gets back from his workout. Jack leans over Bitty’s back for a whiff and a kiss, and Bitty smiles as Jack catches the corner of his lips.

“What’ve you been up to today?”

“Oh, not much. Baking, mostly.”

“Pirogi? I thought Tater was still in Las Vegas?”

“He is. And you left your phone here again. Missed a call from Kent.”

Jack steps back and takes a moment observe Bitty’s face, which is relaxed like it seldom is when Kent is the topic, and the pirogi.

“So Tater either murdered Kent, or…?”

“Those dummies finally got their act together. I’m overnighting this.”

“Just pirogi, then? I’m pretty sure Kent’s not been subtle in mentioning his love of cherry pie.”

“Don’t push it, baby. He oughta be grateful enough.”


End file.
